


Explosion-pire

by ChokolatteJedi



Category: Hollywood RPF
Genre: Chat Made Me Do It, Explosions, Gen, Gossip, Interns & Internships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-02
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-11 07:17:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5618020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChokolatteJedi/pseuds/ChokolatteJedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>New Intern 1 has a very dangerous question</p>
            </blockquote>





	Explosion-pire

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by chat, of course. ;)

"So, like, what's with all the explosions?" New Intern 1 asked, setting his lunch tray down at the table.

New Interns 2 and 3 looked eager, while Veteran Interns 1-4 paled drastically.

"I thought they got the orientation before they came, same as last year," Veteran Intern 3 whispered, while 4 looked around to make sure no one had overheard.

"The orientation we got didn't mention anything about that," New Intern 2 said, "though I'm also curious a-"

"Shhh!" Veteran Intern 1 cautioned. "What I am about to tell you can never be repeated, except in warning new interns." The other veterans nodded and deferred to her, as the most senior.

"You never know who is listening," Veteran Intern 2 warned.

The three new interns looked suitably freaked out, so Veteran Intern 1 continued. "Once upon a time, Michael Bay was a normal person, other than wanting to work in Hollywood, which as we all know is a particular kind of crazy." The other veterans nodded with fond smiles.

"You've all heard jokes about selling your soul to get onto that movie or to get your big break, yes?" Veteran Intern 1 said.

"Of course," New Intern 3 said. The others nodded in agreement.

"Let's just say they aren't all stories. Bay sold his soul, and now he's not... shall we say... _entirely human_."

"What is he?" New Intern 2 asked breathlessly. New Intern 1 looked skeptical, though New Intern 3 also appeared to believe.

"There isn't a word for it," Veteran Intern 1 said. "But the closest comparison I've heard is like to a vampire. He doesn't live off of normal human food anymore."

"You'll never see him at the food trucks," Veteran Intern 3 added.

"You mean he feeds off of explosions?" New Intern 1 snarked.

The four veterans nodded emphatically.

"He's an explosion-pire?" New Intern 3 asked.

"That's insane!" New Intern 1 said.

"That's nothing," Veteran Intern 2 said. "Someday ask 1 or 4 about working for J. J. Abrams." Veteran Interns 1 and 4 immediately blanched and made the sign to ward off the devil.

New Intern 2 leaned forward, wide-eyed. "What-"

"Not now!" Veteran Intern 4 cut him off sharply. "Later. Much later. When I'm drunk enough."

"And whatever you do," Veteran Intern 2 cautioned as 1 and 4 plugged their ears, "don't mention lens flares."


End file.
